?

Log in

How does this make you feel? - iaskquestions

> Recent Entries
> Archive
> Friends
> Profile

September 29th, 2005


Previous Entry Share Next Entry
08:10 pm - How does this make you feel?
Taken from someone else on LJ.

Here is my 5 point plan for dealing with children. Children are defined as anyone below the age of 12. Exceptions are made for girls 10 and above who bloomed early.

1. There should be a mandatory curfew for children. They should only be allowed in public from 3-5pm Monday-Friday; and 11am -6pm on the weekend.
While they are in public, the parents are responsible for having some way to entertain them. A portable DVD player with earphones is great. Any clear plastic bag is an economical alternative. Don't give your child a noisy handheld video game: it's like handing the child a drum or a fistful of fireworks. While, I have no problem with you giving your child a fistful of fireworks, I just ask that you do it at home.

2. One child is allowed in public per adult supervisor. No more field trips, no more haggard women towing 5 screaming kids through the mall. If you're pregnant that counts as your 1 kid.

3. Children are not allowed in movie theatres, or restaurants. The only exceptions being themed restaurants, fast food joints, G-rated movies, or anything with Sandra Bullock.

4. Children in public need to be drugged to make them quiet and compliant.
Parents who do not want to drug their children must physically restrain them. They need to be muzzled, and strapped down to handcarts; sort of like how they used to wheel Hannibal Lecter around in, "Silence of the Lambs".

5. Children not restrained (see above) will be equipped with leashes and shock collars. The controls for the shock collars will be publicly available. Anyone seeing a misbehaving child will have the ability to activate the shock collars.

Parents and children unwilling to follow these rules will be sent to labor camps where they will sew t-shirts, or build shock collars and handcarts.
The other option for parents who don't want to follow these rules is to leave their children at home when they go out. That's why God made TV, and books of matches.

So in closing, please write to your congressman, representative, or local warlord, and tell them you want them to endorse the T-Shirt Hell Childcare Act of 2005. If they refuse, tell them you know all about the videotape.
You don't need to be specific; they'll know what you're talking about.

From T Shirt Hell

(76 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


Page 1 of 2
<<[1] [2] >>
[User Picture]
From:loveandguns0616
Date:September 29th, 2005 07:22 pm (UTC)
(Link)
hahaha
[User Picture]
From:revanchists
Date:September 29th, 2005 07:23 pm (UTC)
(Link)
I disagree with everything of this.

Seriously. That's not normal, although probably many people will disagree with me.
[User Picture]
From:mr_mitts
Date:October 1st, 2005 06:34 pm (UTC)
(Link)
COWARD!!!
[User Picture]
From:twirlandswirl
Date:September 29th, 2005 07:32 pm (UTC)
(Link)
I think parents who entertain children in public to shut them up and keep them mindlessly happy instead of, oh I don't know, TEACHING THEM HOW TO BEHAVE are 90% of the problem, anyway.
[User Picture]
From:unnamed525
Date:September 29th, 2005 09:18 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Excellent.
From:suede_bear
Date:September 29th, 2005 07:37 pm (UTC)
(Link)
nice.
[User Picture]
From:sa_m
Date:September 29th, 2005 08:07 pm (UTC)
(Link)
who is this? 0.o
Just wondering considering, one day, I recieved a "You've been added" email and I was like, "Woah, do I know that person?"
[User Picture]
From:sa_m
Date:September 29th, 2005 08:07 pm (UTC)
(Link)
BUT I TOTALLY AGREE WITH THIS.
(Deleted comment)
(Deleted comment)
From:thefunnies
Date:March 27th, 2007 08:35 pm (UTC)
(Link)
They should be in made-for-kids-to-watch movies.
But that's about it.
[User Picture]
From:ronjeremyiscool
Date:September 29th, 2005 09:14 pm (UTC)
(Link)
I laughed at a lot of parts, but I totally agree with the movies and restaurants. It doesn't get much more annoying then a baby or child crying a seat behind into your damn ears.
[User Picture]
From:cynica
Date:September 29th, 2005 09:46 pm (UTC)
(Link)
It makes me feel like you are sorely without a sense of humor.

You might try looking into lightening up.
[User Picture]
From:iaskquestions
Date:October 1st, 2005 10:10 pm (UTC)
(Link)
LOL!!
From:pheowulf
Date:September 29th, 2005 10:17 pm (UTC)
(Link)
I completely agree. I hope you are being serious.
From:saint_ama
Date:September 29th, 2005 11:51 pm (UTC)
(Link)
i hate children. theyre disgusting and horrible, and i agree with this post.

GoHoWa.

i think your next question should be "Whats Jet Gonna do, when the GoHoWa comes for YOU?!"
[User Picture]
From:_captaincrunk
Date:September 30th, 2005 12:27 am (UTC)
(Link)
I have never seen anything that I could agree with more. Everywhere I go is infested with SCREAMING children. And you know what the parents say? "Oh, it's cute that they run around like savages and scream and break things! I can't yell at them or properly raise my child!". If only I could legally punt the kids across the store... And another thing worth mentioning, no more "Speed Limit 20: We Love Our Kids!" signs. Guess what, assholes?! I DON'T FUCKING LOVE YOUR KIDS, I HATE THEM! Here's an alternative: Watch your little mistakes so that I don't have to. It makes me fucking sick that people expect other people (total strangers) to watch out for their kids for them? Guess what assholes, unless I'm getting paid for it, your kid's life is worth less than a piece of charcoal to me.
From:casperrose14
Date:October 3rd, 2005 11:38 am (UTC)
(Link)
LOL, it's funny how we share such opposing views on so many things but we can still be friends. I guess, there is one thing that bonds us together, brother.

And lastly, when I have my Aryanna I'm immediately filing a restraining order against you. You aren't going to punt my baby, Ryan. lol.
[User Picture]
From:sciucaro
Date:September 30th, 2005 01:42 am (UTC)
(Link)
If there's one thing I seriously don't get, is how people don't know about the child's mind, when it was they that were children too. Obviously trends are diffferent, but Emotions are the same.

Parents should hold responsibility as parents. You don't shit your kid out your womb and then just entertain them having them live on Games, TV, and Music. They lose trust in the parents, and hence those ugly Emo bastages that piss at their parents for little shit. You actually teach the kid things in life, you actually devote your time, you build a bond, and in the process, the child has a beginning trust towards you, so teaching them something good is something to not ignore.
[User Picture]
From:ashland_pup
Date:October 2nd, 2005 07:11 am (UTC)
(Link)
Exactly! Good parents pay attention to their kids!
From:theuselessnoize
Date:September 30th, 2005 03:20 am (UTC)
(Link)
Children these days are sorely lacking two very important things: respect and discipline. Either teach it to them, or beat it in them. This world would be so much better off of all parents were military drill sergeants.
From:sion6
Date:September 30th, 2005 04:31 am (UTC)
(Link)
Are you serious? If you are, may you never have children.
From:sion6
Date:September 30th, 2005 03:52 am (UTC)
(Link)
That's disgusting. No human deserves to be treated like that.
From:lordcoon
Date:September 30th, 2005 04:20 am (UTC)
(Link)
Except black people. And jews. And gypsies. And homosexuals.
[User Picture]
From:maddogairpirate
Date:September 30th, 2005 04:48 am (UTC)
(Link)
Two words: pipe dream.

Impractical as heck and it served as nothing but a rant for someone.
From:saint_ama
Date:September 30th, 2005 06:37 am (UTC)
(Link)
yeah, you furries just want children for your TWISTED SEX GAMES, DONT YOU?!

ADMIT IT! Youre using genetics to some how create half human, half pig people, that you will enslave to a life of glory holes, and dinner parties!!
From:iconox
Date:September 30th, 2005 05:47 am (UTC)
(Link)
Cages! You forgot the cages!
[User Picture]
From:_glamazon
Date:September 30th, 2005 08:33 am (UTC)
(Link)
LOL.
[User Picture]
From:_glamazon
Date:September 30th, 2005 08:33 am (UTC)
(Link)
Agreed. I cannot stand the ill bred, ill behaved crotch droppings of stupid people.

Stupid people and their stupid kids.

I have to say though, it is the parents fault. It's funny how my friend's kid is perfectly behaved around me, but with her he's a loud, intolerable little creature of chaos.
[User Picture]
From:_glamazon
Date:September 30th, 2005 08:40 am (UTC)
(Link)
Oh, I have an anecdote from my waitressing days.

This family came in, it was a large group of about 10, which is pretty chaotic to begin with. But they had this kid... this nasty little demon child, I swear... This was a BUSY BUSY BUSY restaurant, in the middle of lunch time rush, and this little fucker is being allowed to run around... like RUN... in curcles, almost crashing into staff carrying 2, 3 and 4 plates of food at at time... some of it HOT... and these parents did nothing!!! NOTHING!!! My manager told them he can't run around like that and they just glared at him and a few minutes later, this little bastard is running around terrorizing the whole restaurant again, and they still had the audacity to do nothing. So my manager told me to pick him up and put him in his seat and tell him to stay there and ignore the parents.

They glared at me every time I did it!!! The last time, I caught him putting his fingers in the automatic doors!!! And he would whine like a little brat when I picked him up. What a little fucker and what revolting parents. Every time I think back, I just can't believe it.

Don't get me started about BABIES in the movie theatre. If your baby starts crying, PLEASE LEAVE!!! you're ruining the whole movie for everyone.
[User Picture]
From:nine_muses
Date:September 30th, 2005 12:27 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Your questions used to be more interesting.
From:cutzieanastasia
Date:September 30th, 2005 03:18 pm (UTC)

sellotape...

(Link)
I have a recording on my phone of what i had to put up with one night when i was on a bus with screaming kids. I dont know how to put it on the internet, so i will describe.

It consists of some lunatic kid with a craze for sellotape. He started saying it quietly, sellotape.. sellotape.. sellotape, but then he get louder, sellotape.. SELLOTAPE.. S-E-L-L-O-T-A-P-E!!!!!! This went on for about half an hour, all the time the mother is like "Shh... darling...", "please be quiet darling," "hush darling...". I felt something more to the effect off "Shut up "darling", or im going to gag you with effin' sellotape!", would of been more suitable.

As if the sellotape thing wasn't enough, the kid kept kicking the back of my seat (oh yes, i nearly forgot, he was right behind me, so when he was screaming sellotape, it was right in my ear!), so all the way home, i had... sellotape...kick kick...sellotape...kick kick...sellotape...KICK KICK! SELLOTAPE! Shh darling...

It was hell on earth. I say stuff those 5 points and simply put the kids in a waterproof container, push them out to sea, then fish them back out when they get to a suitable age. *nods*

Anastasia xXx
[User Picture]
From:gothikalace
Date:October 2nd, 2005 12:14 am (UTC)

Re: sellotape...

(Link)
Jeez. I would've turned around and slapped them. And then gotten sued by the mother.
[User Picture]
From:maccabee
Date:October 1st, 2005 05:45 am (UTC)
(Link)
It start out alright, but just got worse as it went on. I mostly agreed through the end of 3... and then it just went horribly, horribly wrong...
From:ilikeyiff
Date:October 1st, 2005 06:05 am (UTC)
(Link)
i hate children, and i know that was made jokingly, but I do not believe I could ever support that. What sort of model do we set if we tell them they aren't good enough until they are a certain age? It may seem like a good plan, but it's just another form of oppression in my book. Children are a unique case, and should be treated as such, instead of being held to our standards. While I'd like there to be no more children, or any more humans brought into existence so we can die out peacefully, we must realise that they are only children.

There, that good enough?
[User Picture]
From:bebewood
Date:October 1st, 2005 11:06 am (UTC)
(Link)
srsly those big titted 10 year old bitches dont deserve free meals at dennys
[User Picture]
From:ljandmewt
Date:October 1st, 2005 06:08 pm (UTC)
(Link)
I disagree.

Please remove me from your friends list.
[User Picture]
From:iaskquestions
Date:October 1st, 2005 10:12 pm (UTC)
(Link)
[User Picture]
From:ashland_pup
Date:October 2nd, 2005 07:14 am (UTC)
(Link)
Lawltastic.

> Go to Top
LiveJournal.com